please reblog this if it is okay to anonymously confess something to you.
Super personal post
I have a job that pays decently (for my experience level/education), and a loving girlfriend who is amazing, yet I have been terribly depressed.
Life has been showing me lately that all the points in my life that are sub optimal, are completely my fault.
It’s hard knowing that simply my mannerisms, speech, the way I think, basically all the parts that make me “me” are fucking everything up.
So I stop and try and evaluate what I’m doing, what I’m saying and how to be the person I want, and have the relationships I want. But I don’t read social cues well so I constantly stumble head first into the exact scenario I was trying to avoid.
I used to take solace in the thought of suicide. I would fantasize about the act in fine detail. I just wanted to make the pain stop. Both my own and the pain I constantly bring to those I would like to be happy most.
Now I want the same. The pain to stop but not my life with it. I desperately want to be better. But how do I go about becoming a better person. I barely think of myself as a person. With that as a base how do I go about actually becoming a good one?
I’m very lost, maybe not hopelessly but lost all the same.
Cannatonic$17.35 Per Gram Elemental Wellness San Jose CA
GENETICS: MK Ultra(OG
Kush x G-13) x G-13/Haze
Relatively new to the scene, Cannatonic harnesses great medicinal potential with its equal 1:1 ratio of THC to CBD. What is CBD? CBD is a major cannabinoid found in almost all varieties of cannabis, and is responsible for the majority of medicinal benefits. Muscle spasms, convulsions, nausea, and inflammation are just a few of the symptoms that CBD helps with. Sativas generally have a lower percentage of CBD, while Indicas generally have a higher percentage of CBD. Even some of the heaviest Indicas top out at about 1.2-2% CBD. Cannatonic was tested at 7% CBD and 7% THC, making the medicinal potential for this hybrid unbelievable. The buds are incredibly dense and sticky, coated with glistening golden resin glands. Although the aroma is quite mild, the earthy sweetness is pleasent. The smoke is very expansive, I had a hard time holding in my first hit from the vaporizer. The flavor is similar to the smell, mildly earthy and a little sweet. The effects are where this strain starts to shine! This stuff is a creeper, taking about 15 minutes to fully take hold. Very heavy muscle relaxation felt throughout the entire body, while my head remained relatively clear. My thoughts were not cloudy, which was a nice change from most Indica-dominant strains. This strain had me so relaxed I caught myself staring at the wall more than once! The muscle spasms I experience daily in my arms and legs were completely nonexistent. The effects slowly drifted to drowsiness over the course of about an hour, leaving me sound asleep on the couch. I still felt the effects in the morning, which rarely happens with me anymore. I would not recommend Cannatonic for daytime use, or any social activities that require an outgoing attitude. Although I didn’t feel totally clouded, I bacame very quiet and introspective shortly after medicating. I am NOT a doctor, but… I believe this strain has great medicinal potential; known for effectively relieving a wide variety of symptoms, including: muscle spasms, nausea, tremors, convulsions, insomnia, random pains, anxiety, and the list goes on. The low, 7% THC content is beneficial for patients who don’t particularly enjoy the typical psychoactive “head high” usually experienced when consuming varieties with higher percentages of THC. There is a mild “head” effect, but it’s mostly body. Be sure to check out Cannatonic, this is true medicine!
Blueberry Sour Disel $17.35 Per Gram Papadons San Jose CA
Genetics: Blueberry x Sour Diesel
Looks: Pretty standard for high-end marijuana. One thing I do note is that it has the crazy amounts of trichomes you would expect from a Sour Diesel. Tons of kief falls off this nugget just by handling it, it’s quite shiny.
Smell: This is where the other half of the parents shows itself quite prevalently. I open the container holding this strain and it could very well be a blueberry muffin sitting in there. Fantastic smell, hints of some other skunky/sour smell but the blueberry is overpowering.
Taste: You can taste the Blueberry in this strain as well, it overpowers most everything else. A smooth but strong smoke, definitely a nice rip.
Buzz Type: Fantastic. This hybrid is perfectly mixed, I was in an almost ‘dreamlike’ high from the cerebral effects and the indica was present but didn’t incapacitate me like some overly strong indicas can.
Buzz Length: Medium, about 2 hours from a few hits off the vaporizer. –majicbunnie